Brokeback Panic: Geek Edition

Yesterday afternoon, The Stinkys discovered a unexpectedly open 3-hour window of time. It being Friday -- a matinee seemed an ideal option. It being the provinces in February -- the pickings were slim. So The Stinkys settled on a piece of patently low-brow, cashmongering Hollywood pap.

Arriving to the googaplex, The Stinkys piled onto a longer than expected line right behind a gaggle of about six guys. Clearly good buds, all probably in their first or second year of college, either of a gangly or globular build, each of whom would likely prove to be quite competitive at an open casting call for the next season of Beauty and the Geek.

An agitated, chattery pair -- boy-girl dyad -- arrived to stand in line behind the Stinkys. The boy-half of the dyad possessed a voice that, with every utterance and inflection, sang in what Lu can only call "geek dialect." (You know the voice: high throated, characterized by vocal strain, staccato rhythm, & sharp shallow gaspy giggles.) This new guy -- Lu'll call him "Uber-Geek" -- recognized the gaggle just in front of the Stinkys.

Uber-Geek hollered something to catch the geek gaggle's attention. The gaggle turned to see the source of the voice & appeared immediately visibly aggrieved by Uber-Geek's presence, the presence of Geek-Girl & The Stinky buffer notwithstanding. Then -- somehow the fact of Brokeback Mountain bubbled into Uber-Geek's banter.

UBER-GEEK: "Heheh. I won't go within a mile of anywhere showing that movie."
GEEK-GIRL: "They're showing it at this theater."
UBER-GEEK: "Well. I won't go anywhere near the bathroom then."


UBER-GEEK: (to GEEK-GIRL) Jeremy saw it! (then really loud, for theatrical effect, to GAGGLE) Hey, Jeremy! You coming back to see Brokeback AGAIN!?!? How many time's you seen that movie?!? Heheheheh.

(GAGGLE collectively sighs. Some eye-rolling occurs. JEREMY -- one of the GAGGLE, almost cute, due for a haircut & new pants -- replies, matching UBER-GEEK's volume and theatricality.)

JEREMY: It's only my 4th or 5th time!
UBER-GEEK: (Low. To GEEK-GIRL.) Toldja. Heheheheheh.
JEREMY: (Low. To self more than GAGGLE, not quite smiling.) Wish I knew how to quit dat movie...

The scene played on, with UBER-GEEK being increasingly, insufferably show-offy for GEEK-GIRL's benefit (?).

But, through it all, seemed pretty clear that JEREMY was the real Geek catch of the day.

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