"If God Were One of Us, He'd Wear Prada" (Remembering Carlos Esquibel: October 9, 1968-October 24, 2005)

This just in from Holly Romero, one of Carlos' many long-time friends; she's presently "on the Oregon Coast, hiking alone along a stretch of forest and beach called Seal Rock."

If God Were One of Us, He'd Wear Prada.

by Holly Romero, October 2006.

Carlos tried to teach me about God.
But I wasn’t a very good student.
Needed empirical data. A map.
Handling instructions, a legend with inches
For conversion

He insisted God was in me
In every OM
Every “I love you”
Each backbend

In Maria Callas’ voice
scented candles
the perfect pair of Italian pumps

I could see, for myself, he said
If I stopped looking
So hard. My grip
Fierce and sad.
Like a warrior

After Carlos was killed
I knew I was right
God and Elvis
Left the building
Long ago.
I saw it on TV.

Wiped the desert
From my tears
For a gulp of ocean
And there I saw him
Streaking across the sky.

God.
That smart ass

I miss Carlos
24/7
But I feel him in the
Loose, easy grip
I give my paddle
Fierce and joyful
Like a warrior

And at night
In a tree house
By the sea
The quiet thunder
of smashing waves
brings me home
to pray