5 Stinky Thoughts on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew - Episode 6: "Friends and Family"

Each week I offer a quick recaplet on the latest episode of the new VH1 experiment in candid celebreality, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. The fun continues this week with episode 6, "Family and Friends."

Thought #1: How 'Bout That Jaimee?
Finally. Jaimee came out of her shell, going gangbusters (with a lil bit of gangsta) after spending two-thirds of the series almost completely under the radar. For the most part, the basic premise of the episode (a "Family Weekend" in which the rehabitants's nearest and dearest join in their process of recovery) seemed to trigger Jaimee's dormant case of the "Fuck Its." What started things, though, was Jaimee standing up to Jeff's raging threats to leave rehab. At first I was impressed with Jaimee's capacity for tough love/loving detachment. Her resistance to Jeff's loud manipulations was solid. But then Jaimee started biting back at NurseShelly, offering her own drama-stirring threat to "fuck that bitch up." As things wore on, it became clear: the pressure to perform for her family/friends is possibly Jaimee's biggest trigger to act out, whether through attitude, porn or pot smokage. Ultimately, the exercise that concluded the episode (where the rehabitants had to do "service" - which in celebrity land I guess means "be the server" at an upscale restaurant) gave Jaimee a way out by giving her a specific role to perform for her family. She got into the service and was able to perform a role for her family that was not destructive, but I suspect this set of outbursts just underscores how much Jaimee's challenges come from her set of people, places and things... (Insert requisite Family Matters crack here.) Still, 'twas nice to finally see her near the center of an episode.

Thought #2: Severe Chronic Assholism, Exhibit E.
'Spose the reason Jeff was the only one able to call DaBaldwin out on his assholism is that Jeff's own case of assholism is itself fairly evolved. This episode's manifestation -- like DaBaldwin's final aria -- seemed to be about fix-seeking, using assholism to stage a high drama departure as a means of expediting the asshole's access to the fix of choice. This round of Jeff's bout with his assholic tendencies was less an aria and more a loud pop-rock song, with a chorus/refrain about Jeff not wanting to be a "barking dog" anymore. He first started singing it at full bellow, berating each member of the staff for not getting the memo that Jeff didn't have to go to the dentist. Then, came a extended set of verses singing his threats to leave rehab because he had been cut off of prescription painkillers (which occasioned a series of duets/confrontations with the other rehabitants). All of which required a yet another intervention/coda from DrDrew to talk Jeff off the ledge. All told, this exhibit of Severe Chronic Assholism demonstrated just how exhausting the addict's high drama performances are. When you're causing NurseShelley and DrDrew and Brigitte to burnout? That's a wowza. But, as always, Jeff's still in rehab and it's only a matter of time before his assholism inspires another bravura performance.

Thought #3: Moments of Clarity with NurseShelley.
Between Jaimee's acting out and the extended Jeff-drama, this episode contained a whole array of Moments of Clarity with NurseShelle. The funniest was NurseShelly's reaction when Jeff said, with complete sincerity, "I don't usually go around yelling." NurseShelly's expression? Just priceless. Then, the next morning after Jeff worked over the entire rehab with his threats to leave, NurseShelly's making her wake-up rounds. She pauses, turns to the camera, and wonders, "Hmmm. Let's see. Shall we wake him up? Ehhhhhhhhhh -- I need to pray some more. I'll be right back." Then, we see NurseShelly doing a quick morning meditation before she returns, freshly serene, to greet a newly gentle, humble and courteous Jeff. I love NurseShelly.

Thought #4: What I Didn't Need To See.
Chyna's so not playing this rehab game. And that made for an awkward, and ultimately deeply sad, turn of events for family day. Since Chyna/Joanie refused to invite anyone to be her guest for "Family Weekend," it seems the producers or someone just as clever had the bright idea to invite Barry Williams (of The Brady Bunch) -- who happens to have some undetermined, passing acquaintance with Chyna -- to deliver some tough love. The whole thing just made me sad for Chyna that she's so opted out of the rehab process. But, worse, it makes me sad for me that I had to watch some "Below the D-list" famewhoring as part of the "Family Weekend." Why couldn't they have gotten Joanie's great friend/mentor "Hef"? (Oh, yeah, his reality show is on E!, not vh1). Or if we must suffer additional lame celebrity famewhoring, couldn't it have been -- oh -- Jackie Stallone coming to mend things with Brigitte? Or Jaleel White checking up on Jaimee? But, no, all Joanie (and, by extension, me) got was Barry Williams complaining that Joanie/Chyna ruined one of his Vegas gigs. Not helpful. (And of course, no "What I Didn't Need To See" is complete without at least a quick Vikki Lizzi report: Vikki made one of her, by now, routine appearances: vaguely stoned, desperately interested in preserving her option to drink, not responsible for anything, and ready to make drama. Oh Vikki Vikki Vikki... Sigh.)

Thought #5: Celebrity Rehab's Lessons in Sobriety.
Two visitors to the rehab this week underscored the simple, but easily forgotten, truth that an addict's addiction is actually a relationship, an abusive and controlling relationship that will take precedence over all other relationships in the addict's life. Seeing both Seth's implausibly adorable son as well as Mary's tragically vulnerable mother provides a luminous reminder that addiction destroys the addict's ability to be in relationship with anyone, even those who offer unconditional love. The addict may yet have relationships in their life, but the addict's ability to contribute to those relationships remains conscribed by the addict's primary commitment to their drug of choice. And (re)learning the ability to be in heathful relationship is perhaps the most challenging work of recovery. Watching Seth with his son, seeing Mary with her mother -- luminous glimpses of hope that Mary and Seth might be on their way to recovery. Here's to hope.

But please do "share" your thoughts in comments, beloveds.
SEE ALSO previous "Stinky Thoughts" on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew:
Episode 1 ("Intake")
Episode 2 ("Detox")
Episode 3 ("New Arrival")
Episode 4 ("Sex & Trauma")
Episode 5 ("Family and Friends")
And be sure to tune in next week for every addict's favorite thing: MORE!!!

5 Stinky Thoughts on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew - Episode 5: "Retreat"

Each week I offer a quick recaplet on the latest episode of the new VH1 experiment in candid celebreality, Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. The fun continues this week with episode 7, "Retreat."

Thought #1: How 'Bout That Chaos?
Just one week after what might have been the most effective episode of the series -- last week's concentrated depiction of the challenges wrought by the "Friends and Family" weekend -- this week's episode, brings things back into the generalized chaos of a reality series trying to cram too much drama into too few episodes. Several notable things happened in this week's ep, each of which -- with a better production company/contract or a longer run -- might have enough to focus an entire episode. There was Ricco's admission to his core addiction: gambling. (Ricco's being a thrill-seeking adrenaline-junkie makes absolute sense. Drugs and alcohol are amplifying/medicating accessories; the grandiosity and "terminally unique" secrecy are self-protective rationalizations. His real high is the "how much can I get away with?", a whole 'nother kind of scary.) Ricco's stuff could have made for a whole episode, as could the idiotic Catalina venture (which, in contrast to the sober living coffee house talent show, was just full of bad behavior). And then there was Jeff's departure, which was nothing interesting in and of itself (everyone had seen it before and was now done with trying to convince him to stay) but which seemed to have interesting consequences in terms of chaos. (Like, for example, the idiocy of the foodfight which occasioned one of the more astonishing visuals from the entire series: An overhead shot of Shifty play-snorting a pile of Cap'n Crunch from the surface of a picnic table emblazoned with a "Celebrity Rehab" tag.) Might have been nice to see how the group dynamic actually recalibrated once the "real addict" in the house left. There was a lot going on in this episode and, unfortunately, we didn't get to see much of it because everything was happening too fast to clear the deck for next week's finale.

Thought #2: Severe Chronic Assholism, Exhibit F.
A few contenders here. Ricco's "Jump Off The Boat & Giggle When Four Law Enforcement Agencies Arrive" schtick. Shifty's "Food fights are fun, fuck the cleanup" nonsense. Utterly typical displays of the addict's basic adolescent immaturity, their thoughtlessly self-serving actions effecting others in ways they neither know nor care about. But I think I must give this week's "Severe Chronic Assholism" nod to Jessica's aggrieved adolescent act that hit full-throttle this week as "what's next" began to loom on the horizon. To be sure, Ricco, Shifty and Jessica were all behaving like immature brats. What distinguished Jessica's actions this week is how much work she did to make sure everything was everyone else's fault. It's a noxious ploy: to manipulate the circumstances so that it's everyone else's fault that that you choose to use. CounselorBob and DrDrew called her on this poop but, amidst the many tangled narrative threads of this episode, Jessica's assholism seemed on near constant display.

Thought #3: Moments of Clarity with NurseShelly.
Alas, overstuffing this episode had the devastating consequence of nearly cutting NurseShelly out entirely. Some of our few glimpses comes during wake up calls. Sad sad sad. Proving one of the simple truths of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew: an episode without NurseShelly is an episode without serenity. Luckily, NurseShelly does show up briefly to give Jeff a little reality check grimace when he confirmed that Vikki would not be adjusting her drug use when Jeff returned home. Thank you, Nurse Shelly. (We also got a cute moment of clarity from NurseIcyHot -- bringing up the rear as he tends to do. As the rehabitants were dancing like crazed "self-willing" monkeys during their food fight, NurseIcyHot noted how much he loved them. I'm sure they love you too, NurseIcyHot, I'm sure they love you too. I just love NurseShelly more.)

Thought #4: What I Didn't Need To See.
Jessica singing. The number at the coffee house was one thing. (Didja happen to notice how much Shifty loved Jessica's song? And what did MaryEllen and Jaimee perform? If they performed monologues from one of their movies and VH1 didn't air their dramatic arts, I'll be really peeved. I mean, they took a curtain call -- what did they perform?) But, no, the most uncomfortable spectacle of the episode was perhaps Jessica singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall". In a tiny cabin on the boat to Catalina. To herself in the mirror. I might just have discovered a new feature of my own personal vision of hell. AI also-rans singing campsongs in perpetuity... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Thought #5: Celebrity Rehab's Lessons in Sobriety.
This episode, at some level, is all about the addict's inclination toward self-sabotage -- how one of the hardest things about sobriety is learning to live a different way without one's drug of choice. Because sobriety (and the emotional clarity it brings) is stark, new, and absolutely terrifying, an addict often lapses to the familiarity of the same old cycle of addictive bullshit. Your life may be a giant swirling pot of suckage, but at least it's YOUR swirling pot of suckage -- a giant swirling pot of suckage you know well. It's sad to watch the rehabitants freak out and make lame, occasionally dangerous, spectacles of themselves but it's par for the course... And it looks like the drama just escalates in preparation for next week's finale (when, it seems, both Dr.Drew and NurseShelley cry -- I can't wait!)

But please share your drama in comments, beloveds.
SEE ALSO previous "Stinky Thoughts" on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew:
Episode 1 ("Intake")
Episode 2 ("Detox")
Episode 3 ("New Arrival")
Episode 4 ("Sex & Trauma")
Episode 5 ("Bye Bye Baldwin")
Episode 6 ("Friends and Family")
And be sure to tune in next week for every addict's favorite thing: MORE!!!