A few of you caught StinkyLulu's pre-Oscar post -- the Barfys -- wherein StinkyLulu promised once again that the "Best Picture" contest mattered not a whit.
Well.
Lulu lied.
See, Lulu never truly thought it could happen that the insipid Crash would take it -- but there ya go. Lulu's beginning to come around to MrStinky's theory -- that wherever Sandra Bullock goes, unimaginable potential for crap follows... And how perfect was it that Oscar's own resident face of Satan was sent to deliver the news.
Crash?
That.
Plus Dolly actually didn't win.
Intellectually, StinkyLu acknowledges that the whole frickin' overrated movie was about cutting that winning track & so the song was the only song that actually had narrative significance. (A criteria StinkyLulu has spent many an Oscar defending as the reason to prefer "awful nominated song A" over "awful nominated song B.") But who'da thunk that StinkyLulu's own Oscar-song-rationalization'd be brought to bear against Dolly?!?! Dolly!?!?
(And why didn't Dolly get a nice trannie interpretive dance?!?! In the interest of fairness?!?)
But GoshGollyMissDolly -- she sure did look like Bobble-Head Dolly, didn't she? (Thanks for the pic, fourfour.)
So, those -- "Best Pic" & "Best Song" -- were the big moments of Oscar reflux. The "Best Actor" nausea -- had ample warning, there. Actually tried to tally the number of Barfys won -- lost count after Geisha got its third prize. Ack! And things just started getting kuh-razy...
Other moments of note from StinkyLulu's Oscars'06:
• Did anybody else catch the shot of "latino row" where JLo, Marc Anthony, and Salma were all stuck in the same 2nd row? Almost cute. Almost.
But didja really need all the bronzer J?
Looked almost like Will Ferrell in that actually-pretty-funny makeup intro.
• Likewise -- Salma? Gorgeous. But what that dress did to her girls!
Or really her left girl. A cruel squish job on lefty there...
• And poor Naomi. Someone really should remind her not to use her garment bag as a cat-carrier. 'Specially not on Oscar night.
• Really, the only one to come out looking scary good was George.
He should host next year. Or run for President. Or something.
StinkyLulu was gonna go on a rant about "Cute Props" (ie. Matching Bow-Ties for Oscar &/or Stuffed Penguins) but then started to think about Rachel McAdams' bedazzled dress & Betty Bacall's inabilities (Those FancyFeast & TuesdayMorning endorsements have lost all credibility Betty!).
But really. The Oscars -- for 2 years running now -- just made Lulu sad & tired. Ah well. The Lu'll be back next year. (Now would be a perfect moment for an "Ah Wish Ah Cud Quit Choo" line to describe StinkyLu's feelings for Oscar -- but that's about as fresh as comments about how Ryan Phillippe is so starting a garage band with Nick Lachey & Chad Lowe.)
See you next year, Lovely Reader.
Maybe by then they'll be able to put Gil Cates in the necrology.
(That's TERRible, Lulu!)
Yeah?!? Well, so's Crash.
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